angryraidleader.com

In recent weeks I’ve noticed something.  When you can get your raiders (especially the stupid ones) to focus on what’s going on in the game right this second they live longer.  Unfortunately they’re usually thinking about really useful stuff like:

• Wow, my last spell crit for a zillion damage, I rock!
• Do I want to go see Kung Fu Panda this week? (Yes, you do, but for now focus shithead.)
• I can’t wait to get done with this raid so I can group with Sharizell my beautiful elven love.  (Sharizell’s real name is Burt, and he’s not going anywhere, so get your empty head back in the game!)

This is the shit that gets you killed.  Based on my observations, most of you have limited brain power, so when you waste it wondering whether cake or pie is better, you don’t leave enough brain cells for other stuff, like MOVING OUT OF THE FIRE!  Don’t be thinking about what happened 10 seconds ago, you can’t change it.  People will make fun of you for whatever screw up it was later, but for now, think in the now.  And don’t focus on what’s going to happen.  I used to make this mistake where I was always telling my raiders, “Plan ahead!  Know what your going to do in advance so you play better!”

I was so very very wrong.  You see I assumed that most people are good players, and their thought processes go something like this:

Ok, just pulled the boss, watch the initial aggro.  Looks good, blow some cooldowns.  Burning through mana pretty fast, going to want to drink a mana potion pretty soon.  Going to be some fire to avoid here in a few seconds, that moron is gonna die, should I warn him?  Check aggro, plenty of room to throw some more out there.  Time for that potion.  Fires not anywhere close, but better move a little left just in case, and want to have room to move from the next one.  Yep, he burned to death.  Good thing you stood there and finished your last spell.  Cooldowns about to come up again.  Damn, I could really go for some cake right now….

But they’re more like this:

It’s fire time baby!  I’m casting, and I’m casting, and I’m casting…. How did my aggro get so high? Casting, casting, casting, casting!  Must be #1 damage! Cast, cast, cast, nuke, nuke, nuke!  Uh oh fire, gotta finish this spell!

You have died.

“WTF?!  Where were my heals!”

So don’t bother trying to think ahead, you might forget to stop breathing or lose bladder control.  Instead only think about what is going on right this second.  Your raid leader will warn you of all the scary stuff that is coming up.  And the most effective way to play in the moment is to constantly ask yourself this question:

“Am I about to die?”

If the answer is no, the go back to hammering your keys.  But if the answer is yes, or even maybe, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!  I’m sick of seeing healers sitting below 10% health for 5-10 seconds, dps standing in fire nuking away, melee getting cleaved, because they’re played by retarded 14 year olds that watch too many pvp videos and believe that jumping around like an idiot actually ups your dps.  One of the big differences, possibly the biggest between a great raider, and well… you, is that the great raider instinctively knows how to get out of those imminent death situations.  Usually some combination of moving, wiping aggro, healing, and using oh shit abilities like Bubble, Ice Block, Nature’s Swiftness, or something really crazy like drinking a potion.  Meanwhile you stand in the fire like your trying out for a spot on the menu at KFC.